Pottery Barn

Grandma: Here, look through this and pick stuff out.

Sandi: You're gonna buy me things from Pottery Barn? 

Grandma: No, you pick it out, then I'll find it at Target. 

Big bird

Grandma: Oh, Big Bird, you look like you got a makeover! 

Sandi: haha. I need to update my blog. That was pretty funny. 

Grandma: how was that funny? 

Sandi: You said Big Bird looked hungover. 

Grandma: No! I said he looked like he got  a makeover! 

Sandi:Oh! Haha. 

Happy Thanksgiving!  

Phone call 8/5/13

First off, when my grandpa is in the hospital, a phone call from my grandma at 9:00 pm strikes panic.

When I heard my grandma's ringtone sounded in the kitchen tonight I rushed to the phone. 

Sandi: Grandma, what's wrong? Is Grandpa okay?

Grandma: The TV is on DVD Sandi, I don't know how to change it. 

Sandi: Grandma, when grandpa is in the hospital, don't call this late, it makes me panic. 

Grandma:  grandpa is fine. Bu my tv show is on and I can't watch it because its on that screen. 

Sandi: okay. Well, don't scare me like that again. 

Grandma: how do I change it?

Sandi: push the source button. 

Grandma: where is it?

Sandi: take a photo of the remote and send it to me. 

Grandma: okay, I have to call you on the land line. 

Sandi: okay. 

*after I get the photo, 3 minutes later*

It's the one under the 9. 

Grandma: oh, that one, I wouldn't have been able to find that. 

Sandi: okay now go up two. 

Grandma: so now I go down to the bottom. That's what grandpa does. 

Sandi: no, you need to up to the 2. 

Grandma: the DVD player turned on again. What do I do now?

Sandi: Push the source button grandma. 

Grandma: okay, now what. 

Sandi: go to HDMI 2

Grandma: there's a hdm13 what's that?

Sandi: HDMI 3. Go up one. 

Grandma: woo! Got it. Sandi you saved me. I was about to go get grandpa from the hospital. You can put that on the blog. 

Sandi: okay. Just, don't call this late again when grandpa is in the hospital okay? 

Yup. Grandma. 

Easter strawberries

So I'm cutting up the strawberries and grandma comes in and starts to pick through the cut ones.
Sandi: What are you doing?
Grandma: I'm fluffing the strawberries.

Reasons to (or to not) go on vacation with Grandma.

What's the time?

Gma: Well look at the time.
Sandi: Its 6:45.
Gma: no look.
Sandi: 6:45
Grandma: Look at the clock.
Sandi: 6:45
Grandma: No! It's a quarter to 7. Oh. 6:45. The train will be here soon.
----------------------------
Grandma: I'm going to get coffee on the train. If they don't have any I'm going to sue.

Grandma and kids and elevators don't mix

Grandma and Jessica took Corey to Disneyland this weekend. On the way up to their hotel room on the 4th floor, the doors open on the 2nd floor and Corey starts to get out. Jessica calls to him and Grandma told Jessica "Nah, let him go. It'll be a quiet evening." Apparently only one person had a sense of humor.

I got a text from Jessica yesterday…

Jessica: You're grandma just said our waitress we had was terrible and she probably liked dogs. So I asked what she meant and she said the waitress was probably into beastiality!!! Lol.

This time the jokes on grandma.

Corey: Grandma, I want a Lego party
Grandma: Ok, we can get you a Lego cake.
Corey: No, grandma. I don't want a Lego cake.
Grandma: Why not? It would be fun!
Corey: Because, grandma, you can't eat a Lego cake.

Phone conversation 1/18

Grandma: hello?
Me: where are you? Why are you not home?
Grandma: I'm at a funeral. What do you want?
Me: funeral? Why did you answer your phone?
Grandma: I'm waiting for someone to get picked up.
Me: oh.