Bell Ringing for Salvation Army

Gma: You stand over there and ring the bell and i'll stand here and close my eyes pretending i'm blind, and we'll get more money that way.

Thanksgiving for that

Sandi: I'm kinda looking forward to Thanksgiving this year!
Gma: Why? cause Adam's mom might come?
Sandi: No, I'm acutally kind of nervous for that.
Gma: Don't worry, I won't fart at the table, promise. (pauses) Actually, I can't promise that.

Pre-Birthday lunch

Gma: When do you want to go
Me: Uh, whenever you're free.
Gma: I've always been free. it's only recently that i've started charging.
Me: what? *laughs*
Gma: What is your problem?

Where is this going?

Gma: *holding a newly polished silver plate* There, now doesn't that look nice?
Sandi: Yeah it does. I can see you in it.
Gma: I think I'm going to go put it in the bathroom and put pretties on it.
Sandi: You go do that.
Gma: Well what the hell do you think i just said you little bitch?
Sandi: huh?
Gma: He gave me exorcises to do, you know like push-ups and such.
Sandi: For what?
Gma: My guitar. I don't think he has much hope in me.


-----


Sandi: Did you put it in the bathroom yet?
Gma: No it's in the front room. but I am going to
Sandi: *mocking* I am going to
Gma: You shut up sandi.


-----

Gma:
*looking at her cake in the oven*
Oh beautiful! for spacious skies
my country 'tis of thee my cake is very pleased.

2 Conversations in one post!!!!

Gma: Guess who won the game today?
Me: Niners?
Gma: (shakes head)
Me: Oh, Cardinals?
Gma: No, the Niners. I'm just pulling your titties.

-------------------------------------------------

Me: C'est bonne. Merci.
Gma: Okay.
Me: Did you understand what I said?
Gma: My Boobs. Thank you.
Me: Alright.

Cooking Dinner

Gma: Sandi? Will you go to the bathroom for me?
me: WHAT?!
Gma: I don't want to leave the kitchen.

Adam has a cold.

So I'm sick and both Sandi and Grandma Kay know.

*Phone rings*

Me: Hello?
Kay: Adam, how are you feeling?
Me: I'm fine, I've been drinking lots of orange juice.
Kay: What are you having for dinner?
Me: Probably mac and cheese.
Kay: Oh that's not very good, Adam.
Me: I know, when I was at the store I was so focused on getting juice that I forgot about soup.
Kay: Well, at least the macaroni has sodium, which you need lots of. Well, it was nice talking to you Adam, I'll call you tomorrow.
Me: You will?
Kay: First thing in the morning, what time do you wake up?
Me: Oh please don't call before 10.
Kay: *Pauses* Oh, well I'll call you in the afternoon then. Bye Adam.
Me: Bye Kay.

I'm Lost.

Grandma and Suzanne are in Capitola, Ca for the week. And two days in grandma gets lost:

*Phone Rings*
Sandi: Hello?
Gma: Sandi? Can you look in the rolidex for me and find Suzanne's phone number?
Sandi: What? Does she not know it?
Gma: No, i'm lost on the beach and i'm using someone else's phone to call you.
Sandi: Oh, okay, are you ready for the number?
Gma: Um, okay, let me write it in the sand.
Sandi: You call me and ask me for a number without a way of writing it down?
Gma: Well you call her and tell her that i'm by the multi colored umbrella's.
Sandi: Okay grandma.

Suzanne: Hello?
Sandi: Hey Tudy, Grandma is lost and she wanted me to call you and tell you she's by the multi colored umbrellas.
Suzanne: She's lost? How did she call you?
Sandi: She used someone else's phone.
Suzanne: Where? Oh, i see her. Wow, what a couple we are, huh?
Sandi: Haha. yeah. Alright you two, have fun. I'm going to go blog about this now.

EFG!!!